the value of Love ...

i am imperfect as a mom.
i am imperfect as a person.
i am imperfect as a woman, sister, friend, daughter, and partner.
i have long since given up on perfection,
and i have fallen in love with realism.
i have fallen in love with humanness.
i have fallen in love with connection.
seeing life
through the eyes of my children
and those who truly see me,
know me,
and love me,
reminds me of who i am
and makes me continue to work on being
a better person.

i believe that all of our children
deserve to learn and grow through filters of grace, hope, love, security, and faith.

i would rather teach my children the value of a heart,
not the value of a face.
the value of mistakes,
not pride.
the value of integrity,
not denial.
the value of faith,
not fear.
the value of victory,
not complacency.
the value of respect,
not dishonor.
the value of truth,
not manipulation.
the value of celebration,
not judgment.
the value of compassion,
not narcissism.
the value of the human spirit,
not existence.
the value of kindness,
not neglect.
the value of learning,
not report cards.
the value of passion,
not conformity.
the value of a soul,
not an ego.
the value of accountability,
not blame.
the value of gratitude,
not entitlement.
the value of presence,
not appearance.
the value of peace,
not control.
the value of being,
not just doing.
the value of a relationship,
not a dollar.
the value of LOVE,
not apathy.
the value of living,
not merely breathing in and out day after day and turning the pages that someone else is writing and calling it their life …

you know what's sexy?

telling me the truth, 

even when you think it might hurt me, 

tells me that you respect me. 

your willingness to stand before me and with me, 

as my vulnerability meets yours, 

and the moments are suspended in mid air 

because neither of us knows which way the pieces will fall, 

tells me i can trust you. 

your courage in the face of fear, 

well aware that uncertainty reigns when hearts are on the line, 

softens me 

and shows me 

that i am worth 

the risk 

of your authenticity.

the breath of you

my heart unsettled 

the earth dangerously uneven underfoot 

a rushing in my chest

i am unbalanced 

and cannot be settled 

but by 

the breath of you

my love letter to you,

i know i often tell you that i love you. 

i probably say it way too often. 

you probably know i love you, 

and this letter isn't to convince you or find some other clever way of telling you what you already know.

i just don't think i tell you often enough how much it means to me

that you are honest: 

even when the truth is difficult to hear, your honesty draws me closer to you and makes me admire you even more than i already do.

that you are brave: 

your courage washes over me and bathes me with a renewed trust and faith in you, when it is needed, and even when it isn't needed. not because i think you will never falter, but because your bravery continuously reminds me that even when you do, you are not afraid to stand in the pieces and know that, together, we will put them back … together.  

that you are strong: 

your strength to do both difficult things and every day simple things makes me feel safe and taken care of. knowing i can ask you for help, and that even if i don't ask you will step in and take care of whatever needs to be done, makes me want to be held by both your strong convictions and your strong arms.  you are a visionary. you are a do-er.  

that you are passionate and faith-full:

your passion and your passion for your faith are remarkable and endearing, and remind me of why you are the kind of person that you are. you allow your faith to lead you and in turn you lead others, you lead me, and you lead us. you inspire people.  you give more than you ever consider getting, and you believe in others and in all that is good. 

that you are trustworthy:

knowing i can trust you is like having a blanket of peace that i can wrap around me at any time in any place. i feel protected and able to love you with every part of me, more each day than the day before.  you are the friend i think of and turn to first and last, in-between, and always.

that you are loving:

you are kind.   you are respectful.  you are compassionate.  you have manners.  you are encouraging.  you support me even when my ideas create awkward silence and then laughter or sometimes tears.  you put others before yourself.  you are nice.  not just to me, but to everyone.  you treat others well even when they treat you poorly.  you are positive.  you are optimistic.  you are a believer.   

that you are not perfect:

i love this so much about you, and i know these things i've listed don't always come easily or without awareness or work. i love loving you as you grow and learn and as we grow and learn together. 

that you are a great example:

for my children.

these things are continuous and these things are just a few reasons why i fall in love with you over and over again, every day, sometimes many times in one 24 hour period. 

when i tell you that i love you, i am speaking these and many other things that will never fit into three little words ... eight little letters … 

i am speaking the very breath of my life, 

the gratitude, 

and the faith in which we walk by, 

and only therefore 

do we see. 

i love you …

♥

where enlightenment lives ...

enlightenment isn't just for people who are meditating with mala beads or practicing yoga and eating only organic.

preaching isn't just for people in churches with parishioners or evangelists online with live stream services. 

we can all teach words of wisdom and acts of love. we can all raise the collective vibration. it doesn't matter where we stand, sit, sing, or eat. 

many times the best word we can offer is by living our life and allowing others to actually see us.  

none of those in clergy collars are perfect, no matter how large their congregations are. 

none of those in robes are perfect, no matter how many hours they spend clearing their minds. 

none of those writing self help books are perfect no matter how many times they are quoted. 

and none of us are perfect no matter how hard we try to be nor how hard we work to make it look to others as if we are. 

and i think that's where enlightenment is. 

love is the movement 

and it's not about perfection. 

it's about embracing the imperfect, nodding with empathy, allowing the circle of comfort and sacred peace that enters the space when we admit that we understand the struggles because we, too, struggle. 

it's about holding one another graciously through the battles and honoring the divine in each of us. 

the more we can accept ourselves with both guts and glory, 

the more compassion we will have towards others, 

and the more compassion we have towards others, 

the more this world can become its own healing place.

be who you are

some people work so hard at not being who they are.

and many of us have had times in our lives when we sacrificed who we were for what we thought we needed to be.

my son wrote this in his gratitude journal when he was 8 years old. 
i have printed it and hung it by the bathroom mirror as a reminder for us each morning and each night.

i appreciate the misspelling. it's who he was when he was 8.

the truth is it's about all the things that make us who we are. 

it's not about perceptions, assumptions, or facades. 

it's not about compromising who we are for the sake of anyone else. 

experiences with people who do not know who we really are ... are not true experiences for either party.

every day that you live falsely is a day you sacrifice yourself and your freedom to give, have, feel, love, and be loved, as only you can.

be you.
be love.
be happy.

paying for my freedom

i have recently seen a video explaining the feelings and experiences of a child of divorce. the video is entitled (i think) “Letter from a Child of Divorce.” i know the experiences of the video are all too real, and they break my heart. they paralyzed me for a long time as i researched as much as i could get my hands on regarding the emotional intelligence of children and those going through divorce, and how to address the concerns/feelings/fears that children have, by going to the source and learning directly from the interviews and answers of children who have been through it. i was, and am, determined to counter every one of those issues and proactively meet those needs for my own children, so that they will not carry the pain and trauma that so many children do. i am writing to share my story in hopes of educating and inspiring people with proof that divorce does not have to equal disaster. it is the responsibility of us as parents. it is never ever the responsibility of our children. our children must remain our priority.

i’m honored to be featured as the Truthteller today at www.womenforone.com.www.womenforone.com
i'm in good company with Panache Desai, don Miguel Ruiz, Marianne Williamson, and 100s more.

you can click here to read the first of my articles about this difficult yet necessary experience.

what i've shared here is one small step in the process, and i have written and am writing follow up pieces to expound on this experience. … they will be coming soon and i hope you will read them. if not for you, maybe they will help someone you know.

i am also writing for Lightworkers World about this experience in terms of moving through difficult major life transitions with only love and lovingness in lieu of ego and competitive angles.

it really is possible
to do all things with LOVE