my heart looks like your heart

my heart looks like your heart
Showing posts with label goodness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label goodness. Show all posts

Sunday, March 31, 2013

paying it forward: love in a lunchbox


so the other day i was sitting in a starbucks parking lot, facing the road, looking in the mirror and putting on lipgloss before driving away.

i noticed a woman standing in the median in front of me.  she wore a heavy coat several sizes too large for her body.  a hat.  thick pants, and brown work boots.  she kept a backpack at her feet and she carried a small cardboard sign that was ragged and creased, and looked like it had seen many days out in the cold weather we were having. 

i found myself watching her for some time, and i ended up not driving away.  i watched to see her heart in her eyes ... and any expressions on her face, and those of the passersby … a constant flow of drivers pulling up to the traffic light, pausing and texting, and often not even acknowledging that she was there at all.

i then noticed through the corner of my eye, a man approaching from the right.  he too wore a heavy coat and hat, and walked with a slight lean forward to brace the cold wind, with his head facing downwards as if he were looking at each step he took.

"Judgements prevent us from seeing the good that lies beyond appearances."  -Wayne Dyer

he approached this woman, unzipped his coat, and pulled out a lunchbox.  it looked full.  he handed it to her, and as she took it, he touched her hand with both of his.  they exchanged words which of course i could not hear.  they did not hug, but she extended an arm across his back and he did the same in return.  kind of a half-sideways-not-really-hug but more than a handshake.

i tried to quickly capture this moment in a photograph but from beginning to end it was faster than the time it took me to get my camera and turn it on without taking my eyes off of them just so i wouldn't miss a single second.  

the man nodded to her with a smile and returned back towards from where he had come.  i watched him.  i watched her.  i wondered if he worked in the building directly across from where i was sitting, and had seen her through the window.  i wondered if the food was his own or someone else's or a collection of items from different people from wherever he came.  or an old lunchbox found in the bottom of his car with who knows what inside … i have found a lunchbox or two in my car that my kids have abandoned and forgotten.  not a pleasant discovery i must say!

i watched her some more.  she knelt down and seemed to say a few words out loud.  then she held the cardboard sign in her mouth and she opened her backpack and put the lunchbox inside.  as she did this, she took an item out of it, then zipped the backpack closed.  she held the item in one hand and then held the cardboard sign in the other, stood back up, and faced the traffic once more.  i noticed her posture ...  she looked tired yet strong.  her face, expressionless.

i kept an eye on the man to see where he was going.  i wanted to thank him by going somewhere to get him a gift card or something but i was afraid i would lose track of him.  he did not go into the office building across the street.  he walked over to a car wash and i noticed a car parked there with the door open.  

it was his, and he began to vacuum his floor mats as if he had not just done this extraordinary act.  had i not been in that spot at that moment, or not paying attention, i would have missed that moment.  it was over.  from that point on, no one approaching that intersection would know it even happened.  

i drove over and spoke with him, asking his name, and letting him know that i saw his grace extended to the woman with the sign.  he was younger than i would have guessed, he looked and sounded to be in his very early 20s at most.  he seemed very shy and alarmed, almost embarrassed, as he quietly told me his name was anthony.

i asked him about the lunchbox and he said it was his, but that he was on his way to work and figured she could use it more than he could.  that he could more easily get another lunch.

"It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving."  -Mother Teresa

i had no gift to thank him with so i hugged him and thanked him for being a beautiful example of the human spirit, for being a giver, for helping a stranger, and for making my day.

this was such an amazing moment to me, and i found myself smiling in awe of these two strangers who did not know i was witnessing their interaction.  

i hope my children grow up to be boys who would do the same kind of thing.  i hope they will think of others and their situations and give to people regardless of what the receivers might do with what they receive.  many people reject the idea of helping those who stand with cardboard signs … many people have concrete beliefs about why they are there or what they could or should be doing instead of standing there.  but who are we to say?  it is not our place to judge.  we have no idea what their story is or how their journey has landed them in that place at that time.  very typically, people at the age of 20ish do not identify with this circumstance.  at that age of our life we do not typically consider how or why that person got there.  or that any of us could end up there at any time for any reason.  or that not everyone has the same circumstances or opportunities or blessings.  i was touched to be an unknown observer of this exchange, and even more grateful to see that it was our youth reaching out with such generosity and goodness.   

he could have been my son.  your grandson.  your brother.  your boyfriend.  your daughter's future husband.

and the woman could have been any one of us.  or our mother.  aunt.  sister.  neighbor.  

a person in need isn't just a needy person.  that person is a human being just like you and i are.  a spirit, a soul, an energy.  



sometimes a lunch isn't just a lunch.  
sometimes 
it is a grace of God. of this beautiful universe.  of you.  of me.  of our collective energies.
of Love.


Saturday, September 22, 2012

inner beauty. inner gooey. how i believe people are like cinnamon rolls ...



have you ever seen a fantastic looking cinnamon roll, heard it calling your name from the pastry case, watched it wink at you to lure you over, enticing you with every one of your senses, only to find out that after salivating in anticipation, you eat the cinnamon roll and half way through you discover it wasn't at all what it appeared to be?  you're disappointed ... you pick through it to find the goodness you were hoping for ... soon it is demolished on your plate because you never found it to be any better but checked every part just in case so you wouldn't miss the good spot if in fact there was one ...

a cinnamon roll can look absolutely delicious, but by the time you eat through the layers, you can reach the center only to find that it isn't the ultimate in sweet gooey perfection that you had been expecting, instead it might be dry or bland or uninteresting in any number of ways.  and there you find yourself ... you've experienced it ... but you aren't exactly happy with the experience.  you had saved the best for last ...  eating from the outside, going around the circular path, trusting that the best was yet to come.


this is what i think:  this is exactly the way people are.  and this is why i believe we should view people in the same way:  

and we should start from the center.
this is the only way you will know what the person/cinnamon roll is really made of.  this is where you find out if there is a goodness match, or not.  

you could start on the outside, because of how something/someone looks,  and waste all kinds of time, only to find out that the inside there doesn't match in beauty.  then what's the point?  why spend your energy and time basing thoughts and opinions and feelings on the outside, when really it's the inside that matters.  it's the inside that tells the story.
why spend your time and energy on someone solely because they look a certain way?  their insides might not be as pretty to you, which isn't to say that it might not be perfect for someone else ... you could have passed on by and left it, intact, for another person to enjoy ...

                                                  
                                                                                                               
if you enjoy a cinnamon roll straight from the center, just bypass the presentation and cut into it and dive right in, you will know right away if you are going to spend the next few minutes of your time savoring the rest of it.  i bet you.  
if you enjoy a person straight from their center, just bypass their outer shell and get into their energy and dive right in, you will know if you are going to spend the next (any number of moments) with them as a person.  
much like saying you can't judge a book by its cover, except that it's more of a challenge to dive right into the center of a book and know what's going on.  you can, however, dive into the center of a cinnamon roll and know if it tastes good.  you can, however, dive into the center of a human being and know if the energy feels right.

the cinnamon roll, or the person, who maybe doesn't look as you have come to expect, might surprise you and be absolutely amazing.  and you could miss out on that by making your selection based on the outside appearance.  and likewise, the most appetizing cinnamon roll, or person, might have insides that do not match the outer beauty, that do not live up to your expectations, that leave you misled by presentation.

you can never tell, by the outsides.  
start in the middle.
dive into the center.
it's the inside that tells the story...