where enlightenment lives ...

enlightenment isn't just for people who are meditating with mala beads or practicing yoga and eating only organic.

preaching isn't just for people in churches with parishioners or evangelists online with live stream services. 

we can all teach words of wisdom and acts of love. we can all raise the collective vibration. it doesn't matter where we stand, sit, sing, or eat. 

many times the best word we can offer is by living our life and allowing others to actually see us.  

none of those in clergy collars are perfect, no matter how large their congregations are. 

none of those in robes are perfect, no matter how many hours they spend clearing their minds. 

none of those writing self help books are perfect no matter how many times they are quoted. 

and none of us are perfect no matter how hard we try to be nor how hard we work to make it look to others as if we are. 

and i think that's where enlightenment is. 

love is the movement 

and it's not about perfection. 

it's about embracing the imperfect, nodding with empathy, allowing the circle of comfort and sacred peace that enters the space when we admit that we understand the struggles because we, too, struggle. 

it's about holding one another graciously through the battles and honoring the divine in each of us. 

the more we can accept ourselves with both guts and glory, 

the more compassion we will have towards others, 

and the more compassion we have towards others, 

the more this world can become its own healing place.

pennies for fountains

♥

there was once a time when i didn't know if i would ever be a mother. i woke up every day not knowing.  i spent every day wondering.  i went to sleep at night not knowing.

something many people take for granted:   having a baby.  women and girls do it all the time, sometimes not wanting to, sometimes without a second thought, sometimes as if it is their right and not a privilege. 

like many others, i spent years in quiet desperation, hoping i would one day be a mom, wondering why it wasn't happening for me ... yet seemed to be happening for everyone around me.  getting to know the joy of pregnancy only to then meet the agony of my baby not surviving.  more than once, reliving this tragedy to my heart and to my body.  to my spirit.

i prayed. i wished on stars. pennies in fountains. dandelions. birthday candles.  wishbones.  ladybugs.  other people's babies. any possible way to get my heart's desire out there. 

and then i gave up.

it was a time that made me question a lot of things. it was a time that made me re-evaluate love and life and faith and destiny. 

it was a time that made me the mother i am today.

i have never taken one day of motherhood for granted.  grateful for the honor of loving and guiding my two children and grateful for the children i am allowed to love as my own but who i did not give birth to, today i especially celebrate my baby, ian david, who i proudly named after his uncle, and who i proudly adore to the ends of the earth. 

ian has always wished on stars  

and asked for pennies for fountains.

i always have pennies for him. i always stop what we're doing and give him time with the stars, no matter where we are, how late it is, how tired i am, if it's raining, etc.  i always stand and smile both inside and out, in silence and respect, and admire him as he gets his heart's desire out there. 

i would be incomplete without the ability to love and experience the beauty of his very special soul in my life.  i am beyond grateful for him and for the fortune of being his mom.

i can't believe he is 10. 

i can't believe he is mine. 

i can't believe i could be so very very lucky. 

♥

honoring our connections

♥

sometimes there are people who come into our life and we don't know how it was that we ever did not know them.

sometimes there are people who we connect with, even before we really speak.

sometimes there are people who we cannot disconnect from, even after we part.

there are those who touch our heart,

challenge our mind,

feed our soul.

i believe it is important to honor our connections.  no matter how big or small they might seem today.  no matter how much bigger or smaller they might become on any other day.

i believe it is important to see inside them and really treasure who lives in there. 

the gift of their presence might seem effortless,

but it is their greatest truth,

their spirit,

their journey,

and deserves to be handled with care.

so be thankful.

be thankful.

and be

thankful.