my heart looks like your heart

my heart looks like your heart
Showing posts with label blessed. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blessed. Show all posts

Thursday, September 19, 2019

the place


♥️



everyone deserves a place where they can be their whole and real self:
where they don’t have to put their best foot forward 24/7 in order to be cherished.

where they can be who they are and not who the world tells them to be or just who others want them to be. 
where they are allowed to express their fears as well as their triumphs, without fear of isolation, judgment, rejection, or removal of love. 
where they will be embraced when they’re lonely, reassured when they’re afraid, and helped when they’re struggling. 
where they can speak freely about who they are, 
confess the demons they battle, 
and express disappointment or hurt when they experience it.

everyone deserves a place where they can take comfort in being known fully, 
where insecurities don’t outweigh gifts, 
and mistakes don't overrule blessings.

everyone deserves a place where they trust they will not be given up on, 
walked away from, 
disowned 
or given the silent treatment when they say things that are hard to say ... or hard for others to hear.

everyone deserves a place where they know they can confront their own pain and heal in the safety of belonging, without punishment, ridicule, or penalty.
where they can be fully seen and known, with celebration and applause.

where they can be their best 
and where - when they are less than their best - they are reminded of their goodness and truth
without losing the respect, admiration, value, support, worthiness, friendship, 
or love, 
from another.

p.s. sometimes a place is a person



Monday, September 23, 2013

pennies for fountains



there was once a time when i didn't know if i would ever be a mother. i woke up every day not knowing.  i spent every day wondering.  i went to sleep at night not knowing.

something many people take for granted:   having a baby.  women and girls do it all the time, sometimes not wanting to, sometimes without a second thought, sometimes as if it is their right and not a privilege. 

like many others, i spent years in quiet desperation, hoping i would one day be a mom, wondering why it wasn't happening for me ... yet seemed to be happening for everyone around me.  getting to know the joy of pregnancy only to then meet the agony of my baby not surviving.  more than once, reliving this tragedy to my heart and to my body.  to my spirit.

i prayed. i wished on stars. pennies in fountains. dandelions. birthday candles.  wishbones.  ladybugs.  other people's babies. any possible way to get my heart's desire out there. 

and then i gave up.

it was a time that made me question a lot of things. it was a time that made me re-evaluate love and life and faith and destiny. 

it was a time that made me the mother i am today.

i have never taken one day of motherhood for granted.  grateful for the honor of loving and guiding my two children and grateful for the children i am allowed to love as my own but who i did not give birth to, today i especially celebrate my baby, ian david, who i proudly named after his uncle, and who i proudly adore to the ends of the earth. 

ian has always wished on stars  



and asked for pennies for fountains.




i always have pennies for him. i always stop what we're doing and give him time with the stars, no matter where we are, how late it is, how tired i am, if it's raining, etc.  i always stand and smile both inside and out, in silence and respect, and admire him as he gets his heart's desire out there. 

i would be incomplete without the ability to love and experience the beauty of his very special soul in my life.  i am beyond grateful for him and for the fortune of being his mom.

i can't believe he is 10. 
i can't believe he is mine. 
i can't believe i could be so very very lucky.