i am

when something is killing your spirit

and you don't know how your legs will move you

because you feel so weak and it's as if you are standing by

watching it happen

and your attempts to stop it feel like when you're in a dream

the kind where you try to yell but your voice won't come out

and you need someone to wake you up

show you the truth

the reality

that it isn't dying underneath your smile

and behind your skin and bones

that you are safer than you think

that you aren't losing your soul

i am

where you are

i am

holding you from the inside out

i am

breathing

for you

be where you are

i believe it is not only important

but also necessary

to offer ourselves the gift of compassion.

i know that for me,

when i am going through something

the only way to get to the other side

is to allow myself to be in it in the first place.

i have to feel it,

every bit of it,

sometimes how ridiculously hard it is

sometimes glimpses of how beautiful it is

other times how simply debilitating it is.

i have to face it 

every single day 

until it isn't there anymore

or until it looks 

completely different.

sugarcoating or masking the truth of where we are

does not lead us out of the dark,

does not bring the light to where we are fallen,

and does not remove the shrapnel 

from our soul.

be where you are. 

love yourself there. 

it's okay.