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Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Saturday, March 29, 2014
once upon a time ...
once upon a time each one of us was a child
with big sparkling eyes
an innocent and trusting heart
hopeful to please
and a desire to be loved.
learning our world through the world of those around us.
how we got from there to here was largely formed by the way we perceived ourselves to be valued in the eyes
and hearts
and lives
of others.
one day, each child before us will be an adult
and how they get from here to there ... will be the same.
a breakdown in this journey can change everything
and it can happen in an instant.
maybe it has happened to you, maybe you have witnessed it happening, or maybe you have been the speaker, without even knowing it.
failing to consider the heart of a child when we speak to them can be the fastest way to cause huge damage with even the tiniest of words.
but we can remember their innocence.
respect their vulnerability.
and honor their beautiful souls.
all it takes is an awareness
and the effort to be conscious instead of careless.
let us all choose to consciously build our children up, not carelessly tear them down.
"The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice." -Peggy O'Mara
Sunday, October 13, 2013
promises
i promise that you will have at least one moment in your life when you will feel scared.
you will have a moment when you feel misunderstood.
or alone.
or inadequate.
or just plain sad.
you are going to have times that hurt.
and times that aren't fair.
this is not because there is anything wrong with you.
there isn't.
this is life.
and life isn't always fair.
instead of asking "why me?" learn to ask "why not me?"
you will have a moment when you feel misunderstood.
or alone.
or inadequate.
or just plain sad.
you are going to have times that hurt.
and times that aren't fair.
this is not because there is anything wrong with you.
there isn't.
this is life.
and life isn't always fair.
instead of asking "why me?" learn to ask "why not me?"
i promise that although i have never been in your shoes, and i haven't been You, i have experienced all of those things too, and i understand how hard life can be.
i promise that when you are facing something i have never experienced, i will face it with you.
i promise that you can come to me with anything, and i will stand by you.
i promise not to fix your problems.
not because i don't love you.
but because i do.
and because i believe in you.
i promise you are stronger and braver than you think you are.
i promise not to fix your problems.
not because i don't love you.
but because i do.
and because i believe in you.
i promise you are stronger and braver than you think you are.
i promise that i will not scold you.
i will not judge you.
i will not use your words against you
and i will not tell you how to live your own life.
i will not judge you.
i will not use your words against you
and i will not tell you how to live your own life.
your life is YOUR journey.
i promise to love you, always more, and never less.
i promise that this will be true every single night when you lay your head down to sleep.
i promise that this will be true every single night when you lay your head down to sleep.
i promise that you are never, ever, alone.
Monday, September 23, 2013
pennies for fountains
♥
there was once a time when i didn't know if i would ever be a mother. i woke up every day not knowing. i spent every day wondering. i went to sleep at night not knowing.
something many people take for granted: having a baby. women and girls do it all the time, sometimes not wanting to, sometimes without a second thought, sometimes as if it is their right and not a privilege.
like many others, i spent years in quiet desperation, hoping i would one day be a mom, wondering why it wasn't happening for me ... yet seemed to be happening for everyone around me. getting to know the joy of pregnancy only to then meet the agony of my baby not surviving. more than once, reliving this tragedy to my heart and to my body. to my spirit.
i prayed. i wished on stars. pennies in fountains. dandelions. birthday candles. wishbones. ladybugs. other people's babies. any possible way to get my heart's desire out there.
and then i gave up.
it was a time that made me question a lot of things. it was a time that made me re-evaluate love and life and faith and destiny.
it was a time that made me the mother i am today.
i have never taken one day of motherhood for granted. grateful for the honor of loving and guiding my two children and grateful for the children i am allowed to love as my own but who i did not give birth to, today i especially celebrate my baby, ian david, who i proudly named after his uncle, and who i proudly adore to the ends of the earth.
ian has always wished on stars
and asked for pennies for fountains.
i always have pennies for him. i always stop what we're doing and give him time with the stars, no matter where we are, how late it is, how tired i am, if it's raining, etc. i always stand and smile both inside and out, in silence and respect, and admire him as he gets his heart's desire out there.
i would be incomplete without the ability to love and experience the beauty of his very special soul in my life. i am beyond grateful for him and for the fortune of being his mom.
i can't believe he is 10.
i can't believe he is mine.
i can't believe i could be so very very lucky.
♥
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Sunday, October 28, 2012
searching for robbie wood. and finding the human spirit.
today is the anniversary of the amazing rescue of robbie wood, jr.
this time last year, thousands gathered together, hugged, and cried, rejoiced, and cried some more, when the young robbie wood was found alive after a week long exhaustive search in the woods of doswell, virginia. robbie, an autistic 9 year old, had separated from his family on sunday, october 23, 2011.
i was part of this search, every day, going first thing in the morning and staying until i was told to leave. it was an experience i will never be able to forget, nor would i want to, for so many reasons, on so many levels.
one of my very best friends joined me and i remember the breath escaping both of us simultaneously as we pulled into the parking lot that very first morning of the search, and we saw the tremendously long line of volunteers which had already formed. people who stopped their own world from turning, and went instead where their hearts led them.
there were almost no words. we understood this in this fragile moment, and we managed to mutter something to each other about human spirit. with heavy hearts it felt as though we walked as one, to join the line.
we stood in line from early morning until afternoon, to register and receive instructions regarding the search. i can't explain how it was that we could not be anywhere else at any moment in time on that day.
strangers hugged one another, helped one another, and came together right before our eyes.
the tension, the fear, the gratitude, the hope, was rampant.
we searched until dark and returned home with weariness, anxiety ... and tension, fear, gratitude, and hope.
the next day brought more of the same, but less time waiting and more time searching. the people in charge were amazing and tireless. the woods were so thick in areas that we literally could not see 3 feet away from where we were and we had to constantly call out to each other to know by sound that we were not alone, and that we were still together as a team. there were thickets and holes and all kinds of random things and places to search in, under, behind, and through. there were swamps and ponds and water holes that we walked through, hills and trenches that we climbed, all the while feeling for a child and looking for any clothing or evidence that he was there or had once been there. with every step forward, around, and sideways, there was hope. we all wanted to find robbie, in a bad way. but at the same time, we did not want to find him "in a bad way" or (and these are difficult words) not alive. so when i say that with every step there was hope, believe me when i say that with every step there was also fear. at the end of the day, it was physically hard to leave. we didn't want to go and return to the safety and warmth of our own homes, with our own families, knowing this child was still lost, temperatures were freezing, and his family was still aching. with every return, every night fall, there was prayer, meditation, and faith.
every day was the same.
although i was tied in emotional knots and physically exhausted, i spent time awake every night watching my own children sleep, listening to them, breathing their breath, and kissing their innocent and unknowing faces.
at the end of the week, just as we were returning from a search around lunchtime, we received word that robbie had been found. through tears and smiles and hugs and words that i cannot even remember, we managed to move toward the tents full of volunteers serving food and drinks, and we anxiously awaited more news. hearing that robbie was not only found, but also alive and okay, was enough to bring people to their knees. my search partner had not been able to come that morning, and he was turned away when he did arrive in the afternoon, because there were more than enough volunteers already that day which could be trained and organized before dusk. although he had left, he turned his car around and came all the way back, to be a part of this monumental moment. we were all in shock i think, and it would be some time before we could realize that it really was over.
for several weeks afterwards i could literally not go any number of minutes without thinking about it, talking about it, feeling it. i was very fortunate to meet one of the deputies during the search, who was kind enough to entertain my insatiable need to discuss it, and he said to me days later, "hasn't there ever been anything that happened in your life that you could not explain?"
these words have never left me. i am quite certain that he does not know the effect this had on me, how i treasure his personhood, and how his words have rested in my soul, just laying quietly there, but living strongly with every rise and fall of my chest.
i still think about it, i still talk about it, and i still feel it.
we all searched for robbie. with faith, hope, and love.
and we all witnessed the human spirit. alive. strong. and invincible.
my gratitude
is never-ending.
this time last year, thousands gathered together, hugged, and cried, rejoiced, and cried some more, when the young robbie wood was found alive after a week long exhaustive search in the woods of doswell, virginia. robbie, an autistic 9 year old, had separated from his family on sunday, october 23, 2011.
i was part of this search, every day, going first thing in the morning and staying until i was told to leave. it was an experience i will never be able to forget, nor would i want to, for so many reasons, on so many levels.
one of my very best friends joined me and i remember the breath escaping both of us simultaneously as we pulled into the parking lot that very first morning of the search, and we saw the tremendously long line of volunteers which had already formed. people who stopped their own world from turning, and went instead where their hearts led them.
there were almost no words. we understood this in this fragile moment, and we managed to mutter something to each other about human spirit. with heavy hearts it felt as though we walked as one, to join the line.
we stood in line from early morning until afternoon, to register and receive instructions regarding the search. i can't explain how it was that we could not be anywhere else at any moment in time on that day.
strangers hugged one another, helped one another, and came together right before our eyes.
the tension, the fear, the gratitude, the hope, was rampant.
one of the volunteers
we searched until dark and returned home with weariness, anxiety ... and tension, fear, gratitude, and hope.
the next day brought more of the same, but less time waiting and more time searching. the people in charge were amazing and tireless. the woods were so thick in areas that we literally could not see 3 feet away from where we were and we had to constantly call out to each other to know by sound that we were not alone, and that we were still together as a team. there were thickets and holes and all kinds of random things and places to search in, under, behind, and through. there were swamps and ponds and water holes that we walked through, hills and trenches that we climbed, all the while feeling for a child and looking for any clothing or evidence that he was there or had once been there. with every step forward, around, and sideways, there was hope. we all wanted to find robbie, in a bad way. but at the same time, we did not want to find him "in a bad way" or (and these are difficult words) not alive. so when i say that with every step there was hope, believe me when i say that with every step there was also fear. at the end of the day, it was physically hard to leave. we didn't want to go and return to the safety and warmth of our own homes, with our own families, knowing this child was still lost, temperatures were freezing, and his family was still aching. with every return, every night fall, there was prayer, meditation, and faith.
every day was the same.
although i was tied in emotional knots and physically exhausted, i spent time awake every night watching my own children sleep, listening to them, breathing their breath, and kissing their innocent and unknowing faces.
at the end of the week, just as we were returning from a search around lunchtime, we received word that robbie had been found. through tears and smiles and hugs and words that i cannot even remember, we managed to move toward the tents full of volunteers serving food and drinks, and we anxiously awaited more news. hearing that robbie was not only found, but also alive and okay, was enough to bring people to their knees. my search partner had not been able to come that morning, and he was turned away when he did arrive in the afternoon, because there were more than enough volunteers already that day which could be trained and organized before dusk. although he had left, he turned his car around and came all the way back, to be a part of this monumental moment. we were all in shock i think, and it would be some time before we could realize that it really was over.
for several weeks afterwards i could literally not go any number of minutes without thinking about it, talking about it, feeling it. i was very fortunate to meet one of the deputies during the search, who was kind enough to entertain my insatiable need to discuss it, and he said to me days later, "hasn't there ever been anything that happened in your life that you could not explain?"
these words have never left me. i am quite certain that he does not know the effect this had on me, how i treasure his personhood, and how his words have rested in my soul, just laying quietly there, but living strongly with every rise and fall of my chest.
i still think about it, i still talk about it, and i still feel it.
we all searched for robbie. with faith, hope, and love.
and we all witnessed the human spirit. alive. strong. and invincible.
my gratitude
is never-ending.
the flag raised afterwards in celebration of robbie's rescue
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Wednesday, September 12, 2012
the unconditional condition
is it necessary to label ourselves with a belief system, and in doing so immediately create boundaries that we - and others - are unwilling or unable to cross? do you know anyone who does this, and consequently, considers anyone outside of this belief system to be "wrong?" i do. and i am not saying that i believe they are wrong for believing this way. i believe they are living in the ways that feel right to them. and i seek to understand their perspective and to feel from where they feel. what i AM saying, is that this fascinates me.
recently i found myself in two separate experiences, each mirroring the other, yet each person unaware and on the outside totally and fundamentally opposing the other:
one person who is completely and proudly atheist, absolutely and without any reservation, was explaining to me the scope of parental love. this person said, "there aren't many things that i know for sure in this world, beyond the shadow of any doubt. because there can always be questions about anything. but the one thing i do know, no matter what, with all my heart, is that no matter what happens, i will always love my children. it doesn't matter what they do, say, feel, or think." i asked, "even vote?" and believe it or not the answer was: "even vote." "... even if they ended up in jail for doing something horrible. i would want to understand. i might disagree … and i would still love them. they are my children, and that is forever, and that love can never ever be broken. that love always, always comes first."
not long after that, i was discussing God and judgment with a person who is completely and proudly christian. and this person said, "i believe that God loves us without judgment, and loves us the way i love my children. my children are going to do things that i do not agree with. things i might not want them to do, might hope they don't do, might be mad at them for doing. we are not always going to agree. i might think, what the hell are they thinking?? but none of those things are going to make me love them any less, or stop loving them. they are going to do what they think they should do and i have to let them. i have to trust them. they are going to mess up; we all do. but my love for them does not diminish. i believe that is how god loves us."
these people will probably never meet, nor would they be likely to carry on such a conversation with each other if they ever did meet. but what is interesting to me, and what touches my heart, is what is so obvious. these people could not be farther apart, more opposite in their belief systems. neither one would consider the other to be "right." and it's not about right. or wrong. things are not always right or wrong, sometimes they just are. and how important is it if one of them believes in God, or the Universe, or a Supreme Being, or Love, etc? … at the core of each one, all of these are the same … the very inner spirit, the love, is the same. the root, is love. the common bond, is love. the most important thing, the truest connection, is love. this is the universal language and it was my honor to find myself as like a midpoint between these two energies. as if i could look to the left and see one; look to the right and see the other ... and know that i am surrounded by love. i believe we can all connect to others in this simple and natural way. all it takes is one person at a time. once you connect with one other person not at face value, but as a human being, at this core level of one heart to another, there is no judgment there. there is no room for it. and this becomes more natural and more instinctual. this is what so many people are missing in their own lives. this is what so many people are missing about everyone else around them. they are so busy forgetting to look at the hearts of others; instead … they are looking only … at what they see…
and this is simply, not, the best that we can do.
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