to be continued ...

so today while i was driving, i was thinking, and having conversations in my head, you know, much like the way our thought process goes when we're in the shower.  that's not just me, right?

so i was driving after having spent some time with a friend.  not just any friend, but a friend of my heart.  a connection i cannot imagine not having. 

i was wondering why this is.  and i was thinking about whether or not it really is what it seems to be.  like, how is this such an important thing, how is it that this person's presence actually affects me in this unique way?  there was, after all, a time when this connection did not yet exist.

how is it that being around this person feels like a celebration … of who we are ... of who each of us is.  a treasured collection of moments of being who we are, and excelling at it.  and it feels like we are never finished being together, we are always "to be continued …"

i was wondering, is it me?  am i assigning more value to this because of my  extremely tender heart?  am i making this mean more than it is, in my mind?  you know how we all know we have had moments where we question ourselves because we can all overthink things sometimes.  especially when we're driving.  alone.  that's not just me, right?

and so i tried to compare this friendship to others … and i couldn't.  

i tried to explain it to myself … and i couldn't.  

i tried to define it … and i couldn't.

but what i did succeed in doing, was realizing this ultimate truth:  the quality of my life is better with this person in it.

it's really that simple.  it's really that true.  and that was all i needed to know in the end.  

i smiled the rest of the way home ...

choosing happiness

i will not allow my mistakes to define me.  what i will allow them to do, is teach me.

i will not be imprisoned by any past decision.  what i will be, is free to decide differently once more.

i have a hard enough time carrying in my groceries from the car ... i do not have enough room to juggle errors of my own or judgments of others.  much like the groceries, if goodness and healthy things are brought in, then goodness and healthy things will ... sit in the pantry untouched and uneaten by my children...  LOL

ok, but when we breathe in positivity, we breathe out happiness.

when we choose to carry around heaviness and negativity, we end up with bruised and broken wrists.  we are then unable to carry the lightest things of all:  love.  acceptance.  celebration.  gratitude ...

it is always a choice.  and i am too much of a rebel to let anyone else make that choice for me, dammit.