your spirit

♥️

Sometimes the ache in our heart, the hurt in our chest feels bigger than the possibilities in front of us. Sometimes the gap is so wide between where we are and where we want to be or even know we belong, that we can’t step into our present for fear of falling into that gap where we know it is empty and where we will be surrounded only by the echo reminding us of where we aren’t.

Sometimes the aloneness is too large and takes up so much space that we are unable to muster any desire to make small talk or shallow laughter even with people we know and love because in the inside underneath and behind all that small talk and laughter is just a sad hurting little version of ourselves that longs to be in another place or another time or both.

I say all this to say that if you are feeling any of these feelings, you are not alone, I know these feelings well. And you are not required to feel differently just because other people around you do not share your current emotions. This can happen at any part of the year and for different amounts of time but especially during the holiday season it can be a challenge

to keep your head above tear level some days.

Sometimes we start out a sentence normally and with a smile or even laughter but somewhere in the middle we are sobbing and drowning. Sometimes we want to collapse, sometimes we want to retreat, and sometimes we just want to hide. Sometimes we manage to hold it together and later wonder how. And it’s okay to be there, wherever you are, and feel what you feel, whether it’s because you are grieving a loved one or grieving your own self in some way.

Be gentle with yourself and know that your smile is not lost

even in the moments when you can’t find it.

Your beauty is present

even when you feel you can’t be.

Your spirit is alive

even if you feel part of you isn’t.