my heart looks like your heart

my heart looks like your heart

Friday, November 16, 2012

live your legacy

I selected this post to be featured on my blog’s page at Inspirational Blogs.

so i attended a memorial service last week and was inspired like never before.

i wrote about this beautiful experience, and guess what?

i am now a regular contributing writer for lightworkers world!

you can read my article on their website :D by clicking here:   "are you living your legacy?" 

look for more of my thoughts there in the future, including photography by my soul sister liana kvidera, of carpe diem artography:

Visit LightWorkers World: Resources to create positive change and Self empowerment


Wednesday, November 7, 2012

i say no to tolerance. i say yes to embracement.

i have never talked a whole lot about homosexuality and/or gay marriage in my house, not because i am against it, but because i do not see it as an issue.  people are people.  i would rather see a same sex couple who treats each other with respect and love, than a heterosexual couple who does not.  when i was growing up my mother said to me, "race and color make no difference.  i would rather see you marry a black man, an asian man, a mexican, a mixed-race or purple polka dotted man, if he loves you, respects you, and treats you the way you deserve to be treated,  than a white man who abuses you in any way, either physically, mentally, or emotionally.  love is love.  and it is not limited to skin or culture."  soon after that she also added that if any of her children announced that they were gay, she would be happy as long as their partner loved them, respected them, and treated them the way they deserved to be treated.

my children have grown up with this mindset ...  i have always had friends who were part of the homosexual community ... gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, whatever.  i have had them and their partners as part of my family.  a "gay wedding" is no different than a "not gay wedding" to me nor to my children, and i am happy for them to see two people who love each other getting married.  we welcome them into our home just as we would anyone else and we love them.  why wouldn't we?   my children look at them the same way they look at any couple.  we are, in fact, all part of the same community.

i do realize that not everybody agrees with this (i have friends and family who don't, and that's okay with me,) and there are people who would rather hang out with a man and woman who mistreat each other than two women who don't or two men who don't.  i am not trying to change anyone's mind.

i have always told my children that they do not have to believe what i believe. they are encouraged to learn as much as possible and to make their own decisions.  if they want to explore any belief system, any religion, go to any church or place of worship to see what they think or feel about it, i will absolutely take them and learn with them.  i do not have to agree with them to support them with my whole heart.  but in the end, i might.  who knows?  the point is to be open.  i say no to tolerance.  i do not teach them to tolerate differences, i teach them to celebrate differences.  to embrace them, to learn from them,  to allow them to enrich our relationships and make us better human beings.

so ... today on the drive home from school, my teenager reviewed a little of the big ongoing post-election conversation that went on there today.  one point in particular that one of his classmates made, was that homosexuality is unnatural.  i asked my son how he felt about that and if he had a response.  i am proud to hear that he replied to this person:  "no, no it's not.  how can love be unnatural?  it's love.  period."  his classmate said, "you're just letting your religious beliefs get in the way of your judgment."  to which my son replied, "no actually, i don't care about religion at all, religion has nothing to do with whether or not you love someone.  if someone loves someone, why shouldn't they be allowed to?"  his classmate: "it's unnatural; humans are the only species where homosexuality exists."  my son:  "dude that is so not true.  and anyway, everyone has someone in their family somewhere along the line, who is homosexual, whether they know it or not." his classmate:  "no way, not me, i definitely don't."  my son:  "okay dude.  that's what you think, and it's ok that i think differently.  and to me, being kind is more important.  if you wanna be against something, how about being against ... communism. or mean people." 

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

ballots and bubbles. my wish for positivity at the polls.

i really don't like politics.  ugh.  not any of it.  

and today was the day.  the day when, thank goodness, everyone got to stop fussin and fightin and go cast their vote.

at least that's what i thought was going to happen.

i spent over 2 hours in line, it really wasn't bad, and it was actually not as long as i had anticipated.  i enjoyed people watching, sipping my latte, and talking with whomever felt like talking.  i enjoyed being there and didn't even think about how long it was taking.

sadly, i was surrounded by people who were guessed it ... still fussin and fightin:
"oh great, how long do you think it's gonna take this line to move?"
"i am not waiting in this line, this is ridiculous"
"oh my god, how long have you been here?"
"i still have to go to work, this is nuts"
"what is taking so long?"
"they should be more organized ...why don't they have better signs about which line to be in?"

i could go on and on.  i thought at one point, many of these people wait much longer in line for a concert or to get a good deal on a television or a video game on black friday.  but they are "inconvenienced" by waiting in line for the right to vote?

people serve this country and fight for this right that we are standing in line for.  some of them have lost their lives, lost their loved ones, or are unable to be here on this day to participate; do you think they would be complaining that there is a wait ... which is actually a good thing because it means that so many people care enough to be here?  do you think any of them would complain and appreciate the lack of gratitude when they have put or continue to put their lives on the line?

then there were the people complaining about what they would do if they were president.  or what they think "should be."  or what is wrong with this voting process at this location.  or the process at another nearby location that they heard about from a neighbor's cousin's friend on facebook.

i honestly don't care about any of those things that people were grumbling about.  nor did i want to carry around the negativity that hung in the air with those words.  i don't even have a problem with people who didn't vote.   because there were the people too, believing they were right to scold or bully anyone else into voting in the first place.  shaming anyone who didn't vote.  i thought it was a free country.  i thought it was our choice.  if someone chooses not to, aren't they free to make that decision? hmmm.

you know what else i think?
i think the next time i go to vote, i am going to bring a coloring book, crayons, and a small bottle of bubbles.  i hope i remember.  for the weary mom in line with 3 children and a stroller, doing her best to keep all of their spirits up when clearly the children have all reached their point of meltdown after being there for hours and really are trying their best to behave and be patient as their mom is begging them to do.  i applaud them.  not one of them complained about anything but their tiny feet hurting or wanting to sit down or dropping their sippy cup.  all legitimate and innocent when you're under the age of 4, and to be honest i think the baby had a heavy diaper by the time mom was on deck.

i think sitting on the floor at eye level with them and blowing a few little bubbles together would have made a huge difference in their day, and might have even reminded some of the other voters there to stop thinking about themselves ... that those little lives are the future.  and the future is in our hands.  and standing in line for a couple of hours being grateful and setting a good example, instead of complaining, is the very least that we can do.

always a moving experience for me:
  men. women.  all ages.  different cultural backgrounds.  walking.  not walking.  all voting. one nation.

"My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it". 
- Clarence Budington Kelland

Saturday, November 3, 2012

celebrate YOU

to be continued ...

so today while i was driving, i was thinking, and having conversations in my head, you know, much like the way our thought process goes when we're in the shower.  that's not just me, right?

so i was driving after having spent some time with a friend.  not just any friend, but a friend of my heart.  a connection i cannot imagine not having. 

i was wondering why this is.  and i was thinking about whether or not it really is what it seems to be.  like, how is this such an important thing, how is it that this person's presence actually affects me in this unique way?  there was, after all, a time when this connection did not yet exist.

how is it that being around this person feels like a celebration … of who we are ... of who each of us is.  a treasured collection of moments of being who we are, and excelling at it.  and it feels like we are never finished being together, we are always "to be continued …"

i was wondering, is it me?  am i assigning more value to this because of my  extremely tender heart?  am i making this mean more than it is, in my mind?  you know how we all know we have had moments where we question ourselves because we can all overthink things sometimes.  especially when we're driving.  alone.  that's not just me, right?

and so i tried to compare this friendship to others … and i couldn't.  
i tried to explain it to myself … and i couldn't.  
i tried to define it … and i couldn't.

but what i did succeed in doing, was realizing this ultimate truth:  the quality of my life is better with this person in it.

it's really that simple.  it's really that true.  and that was all i needed to know in the end.  

i smiled the rest of the way home ...