my heart looks like your heart

my heart looks like your heart

Thursday, September 24, 2015

they took my heart

twelve years ago i met this kid. i didn't yet know his name or how funny he would be, how artistic, smart, sensitive, or how loving. i only knew i already loved him with a love i didn't yet know ...

at 8:15 am ian came out of my body and began his fantastic journey. 

i knew ahead of time that on this date the doctors would take this baby out of me. what i did not know is that they would also take my heart. 

i wasn't sure how my love would be divided equally between children and i just didn't know if i could or how i could love as much, again, as i already loved his brother. 

what i discovered was that the love was not divided. it was simply, and easily, multiplied. 

the heart i thought was intact left my body with his brother and then somehow left my body again with him. 

it's an amazing and indescribable thing when you see and know your heart and your love walking around outside of yourself. even more amazing is when you not only still feel whole, you feel even more complete. so much more so, that when your heart was yours alone, you were empty by comparison. 

it is a beautiful and perfect day to celebrate one of my great loves of my lifetime. 

this song is currently "his jam" lol




Thursday, September 10, 2015

it does not fail ...

love is love. 

i believe that there are many differences between love and relationship ... between soul and ego

relationship says 
you are with me i am with you or else we are not together 
love says
no matter where you are or where i am, we are always together 

relationship has image 
conditions 
expectations
boundaries
love has no image and cares not about how it looks
love is unconditional 
love walks with no expectations
and love knows no bounds 

relationships can come and go, be inconsistent, last or not last, succeed or fail

but love doesn't come and go
love is constant 
love lasts 
love
does not fail