my heart looks like your heart

my heart looks like your heart

Thursday, September 24, 2015

they took my heart

twelve years ago i met this kid. i didn't yet know his name or how funny he would be, how artistic, smart, sensitive, or how loving. i only knew i already loved him with a love i didn't yet know ...

at 8:15 am ian came out of my body and began his fantastic journey. 

i knew ahead of time that on this date the doctors would take this baby out of me. what i did not know is that they would also take my heart. 

i wasn't sure how my love would be divided equally between children and i just didn't know if i could or how i could love as much, again, as i already loved his brother. 

what i discovered was that the love was not divided. it was simply, and easily, multiplied. 

the heart i thought was intact left my body with his brother and then somehow left my body again with him. 

it's an amazing and indescribable thing when you see and know your heart and your love walking around outside of yourself. even more amazing is when you not only still feel whole, you feel even more complete. so much more so, that when your heart was yours alone, you were empty by comparison. 

it is a beautiful and perfect day to celebrate one of my great loves of my lifetime. 

this song is currently "his jam" lol

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