my heart looks like your heart

my heart looks like your heart

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

i say no to tolerance. i say yes to embracement.

i have never talked a whole lot about homosexuality and/or gay marriage in my house, not because i am against it, but because i do not see it as an issue.  people are people.  i would rather see a same sex couple who treats each other with respect and love, than a heterosexual couple who does not.  when i was growing up my mother said to me, "race and color make no difference.  i would rather see you marry a black man, an asian man, a mexican, a mixed-race or purple polka dotted man, if he loves you, respects you, and treats you the way you deserve to be treated,  than a white man who abuses you in any way, either physically, mentally, or emotionally.  love is love.  and it is not limited to skin or culture."  soon after that she also added that if any of her children announced that they were gay, she would be happy as long as their partner loved them, respected them, and treated them the way they deserved to be treated.

my children have grown up with this mindset ...  i have always had friends who were part of the homosexual community ... gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, whatever.  i have had them and their partners as part of my family.  a "gay wedding" is no different than a "not gay wedding" to me nor to my children, and i am happy for them to see two people who love each other getting married.  we welcome them into our home just as we would anyone else and we love them.  why wouldn't we?   my children look at them the same way they look at any couple.  we are, in fact, all part of the same community.

i do realize that not everybody agrees with this (i have friends and family who don't, and that's okay with me,) and there are people who would rather hang out with a man and woman who mistreat each other than two women who don't or two men who don't.  i am not trying to change anyone's mind.

i have always told my children that they do not have to believe what i believe. they are encouraged to learn as much as possible and to make their own decisions.  if they want to explore any belief system, any religion, go to any church or place of worship to see what they think or feel about it, i will absolutely take them and learn with them.  i do not have to agree with them to support them with my whole heart.  but in the end, i might.  who knows?  the point is to be open.  i say no to tolerance.  i do not teach them to tolerate differences, i teach them to celebrate differences.  to embrace them, to learn from them,  to allow them to enrich our relationships and make us better human beings.

so ... today on the drive home from school, my teenager reviewed a little of the big ongoing post-election conversation that went on there today.  one point in particular that one of his classmates made, was that homosexuality is unnatural.  i asked my son how he felt about that and if he had a response.  i am proud to hear that he replied to this person:  "no, no it's not.  how can love be unnatural?  it's love.  period."  his classmate said, "you're just letting your religious beliefs get in the way of your judgment."  to which my son replied, "no actually, i don't care about religion at all, religion has nothing to do with whether or not you love someone.  if someone loves someone, why shouldn't they be allowed to?"  his classmate: "it's unnatural; humans are the only species where homosexuality exists."  my son:  "dude that is so not true.  and anyway, everyone has someone in their family somewhere along the line, who is homosexual, whether they know it or not." his classmate:  "no way, not me, i definitely don't."  my son:  "okay dude.  that's what you think, and it's ok that i think differently.  and to me, being kind is more important.  if you wanna be against something, how about being against ... communism. or mean people." 


  1. I loved this post... and I TOTALLY agree with your view point. I believe we all come from the same place regardless of color, race, or sexual preference. That we are all one and that love trancends all. Love you too by the way, and anyone else who may read this... xoxo